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| 1. Alfie (1966) |
Selfish, self-centered hedonist Alfie (Michael Caine) seduces virtually every "bird" he meets (including a nurse in the sanatorium where he's being treated for tuberculosis), because he can (and because the pre-feminist women are stupid enough to put up with his narcissistic, misogynistic ways; he even refers to the female being as "it").
One of his married conquests, Lily (Vivien Merchant), gets pregnant, and Alfie (who has already refused to marry the mother of the product of an earlier affair) arranges for her to have a (literal) kitchen-table abortion. Seeing the dead fetus sobers Alfie up in a hurry, and he decides to settle down and marry rich widow Ruby (Shelley Winters) — but when he goes to see her, finds she's replaced him with a new, younger lover. Past his prime and abandoned by all the women he's bedded, Alfie is forced to reevaluate his life.
Followed by:
Alfie Darling (1976) We need a spoiler!
Remade as:
Alfie (2004)
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| From: Movie Spoilers/Titles A/Alfie (1966) |
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| 2. Berserk (1967) |
After Gaspar the Great falls from his tightrope and dies, circus owner Monica Rivers (Joan Crawford) hires a new tightrope walker, Frank Hawkins (Ty Hardin), and the audience immediately begins to have a collective case of the dry heaves when the blond stud muffin begins a love affair with the most un-gracefully-aging Mommie Dearest.
Gaspar's death is only the first among several; Monica's partner Dorando (Michael Gough) is murdered; Matilda (Diana Dors) is sawn in half for real; and finally Frank himself falls from the tightrope onto a bunch of bayonets.
While folks suspect Monica is behind the murders (hey, it would be great publicity!), the real killer is Monica's daughter, Angela (Judy Geeson), who has been trying to ruin the circus because it took all of Monica's attention away from her. Once found out, Angela tries to kill Monica; failing that, she runs — right into a live wire during a storm, and is electrocuted. The End.
Our take: Not as laugh-out-loud hilarious as some of Crawford's cringe-making later efforts (say, the similarly-themed Strait-Jacket or the unbelievably bad Trog), but worth it if you want to see the faded star pretending she's a hot young thing desired by every man who sees her.
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| From: Movie Spoilers/Titles B/Berserk (1967) |
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