Home : Movie Spoilers > Titles M > Man-Thing (Straight to Video, 2005)
Man-Thing (Straight to Video, 2005)
Three-word warning label: Syfy Channel original. 'Nuff said.
We were nearly at the end of this Marvel Comics-based dumb-fest — about a swamp thing that's nowhere near as endearing as the real Swamp Thing (We need a spoiler!) — when we realized why we could barely understand the dialogue: Set in the swamps of the southern U.S., the flick was made in Australia, with Aussie actors attempting to approximate Cajun accents. It finally clicked when Rachael Taylor's pseudo-drawl fell apart altogether and she spat out the word "bahn" for "barn."
Mind you, the majority of the Aussie actors here are normally quite capable performers... when they're allowed to be Australian — which begs the question: Why wasn't the movie just set in Oz?
In any case, no matter where it was made, you could have cast Sir John Gielgud, Helen Mirren, Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep as the stars, and Man-Thing would still be crap. And not good crap. Just crap.
Man-Thing, half-man, half-vegetation, and purportedly Native American, is angry because drilling by an oil company has polluted the Louisiana bayou, so he/it starts murdering people. The new sheriff in town (Matthew Le Nevez) investigates... and, of course, falls in love with the local schoolteacher (Rachael Taylor, who, three years later, learned to maintain a much better grasp on an American accent in Shutter).
At the end, the oil rig blows up, and Man-Thing is kind of, um, absorbed back into the swamp, presumably at peace now that his home is no longer being raped by the oil company.
The End. Thank bloody goodness.
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